Why so many setbacks in human relationships ? For two finally very simple reasons :
- either ignorance or not taking into account the basic elements of human relationships,
- and/or ignorance of wrong implementation of the basic rules governing human relationships.
Ignorance Or Not Taking Into Account Of The Basic Elements Of Human Relationships
This may appear trivial but it affects the very basis of the foundations of human relationships. It is indeed to be recalled that a human relationship is an equation with several components which :
- involves at least two persons,
- and includes some needs to be met,
- some goals to be reached,
- expressed through communication,
- and exchanges between the persons concerned, as shown in the diagram here (click here).
All this is supposedly "obvious", but beginning with the first element, how many of us in the world, from time to time or permanently soliloquize in front of a person we are supposed to be in relationship with but who has become totally "non-existent", thus forgetting that there is no human relationship without at least two people ?
Our relationships with others are often unsuccessful because one basic element is missing in the beginning, or the relationship turns sour afterwards after one of these basic elements changed or disappeared. A few examples :
- There is no partner or no more partner in front : as recalled above.
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Unmet needs : in the framework of relationships intended to last long, the mutual needs should be really known and met. Apriorism on the other person's needs such as « I know ! He/she just needs …» without taking into account his/her real needs, must be banned.
- Goals : when the goals were not mentioned, not properly expressed or not listened to, the relationship cannot simply be developed because there is no direction to follow.
Communication : when communication does not exist any more, a wall of silence is created and the relationship falls apart, then dies …
For additional information on these basic elements, please click one of the links hereunder.
Ignorance Or Not Taking Into Account Of The Basic Rules Governing Human Relationships
Even if the basic elements recalled above are actually known and duly taken into account, the basic rules governing human relationships should also be known and implemented. One of them which looks like a self-evident truth is that one must never forget that a human relationship is a living equation.
A human relationship is indeed a non-static equation in each of its components. Indeed, as mentioned above, it may turn into a permanent monologue, in addition to the mutual needs and goals which may change as well as communication and exchanges which may evolve as to their intensity and quality. The human relationships life-cycle is right on this line. Click here to see it .
Another important rule governing human relationships to be mentioned is the Sowing Law
, which is either not always, or else inadequately taken into account, sometimes even simply put aside (click here for more information).
The main lesson to be drawn from these often overlooked basic facts is that One should never take things for granted once and for all as far as human relationships are concerned …
If you wish to have much more information on this matter for a better understanding of human relationships or to improve them in 2008, please click here.
TO BE REMEMBERED |
In human relationships, whether based on love or friendship, you should never take things for granted once and for all because a human relation is a living equation and not a straight line …
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The Needs |
The Goals |
Communication |
Exchanges |
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